iSmart and falling apart

I grew up thinking that, if I routinely took my car in to get the oil changed and tires rotated, my car could last forever. Or if not forever, for a very, very long time without any hassle.

It did not take too many years as a car owner to realize that WHOA! Mayhem and foolishness abound in cars! Factory-installed tires suck after 20,000 miles, check engine lights don’t go off when they’re supposed to, strange noises start, and, sadly, I even had the transmission fail in a legendary, all-hail-the-Subaru before its 5th birthday.

I should’ve known better, especially after catching a few broadcasts of Car Talk on the radio!

I don’t know why, then, I thought about my body in the same way:  get a flu shot, floss your teeth, go for check-ups, follow the doc’s orders (usually), eat (mostly) right (most of the time), and VOILA! My body will keep humming along for decades to come. No muss, no fuss.

Er, not so much. While nothing is seriously wrong, thankfully, I’ve spent the last six weeks juggling appointments for MRIs, X-rays, an overnight sleep study and PT with the rest of life.

Turns out 1) my wonky, wobbly knee issue, which cropped up 6 months ago, is due to “significant arthritic changes,” bone spurs, cartilage and such stuff that I imagined only was of concern to anyone over the age of 60.

And, 2) my home sleep study revealed I have mild, maybe mild to moderate, sleep apnea, which would explain why I don’t feel rested when I do get 7-8 hours of sleep. It isn’t good sleep; it’s bad!

I’m doing physical therapy for my knee, which has taken away the discomfort and is strengthening muscles that have gone kapooey in the last few years. I’m also lining up a CPAP to wear at night. Tres sexy! However, I’m excited – yes, excited – to start using any sleep appliance that may take the years off my face and bloodshot from my eyes.

I’ll stop before delving more into my aches and pains, which is only a step or two from graduating to the “death and dying report” that I get whenever I visit my 80+-year-old mother-in-law. Suffice it to say, I’m striving to be like my vehicles:  a little scratched and dinged on the outside, but generally working ok on the inside.

On a separate note, I graduated to a smartphone in October, months after writing about it. Hard to believe! However, I’ve only downloaded a solitaire and flashlight app. (I know, me so crazy.) What do you recommend for free fun?



My husband is a ludite

Let’s be honest: I don’t need a smartphone, but I want one.  I don’t like the prospect of spending $40 more a month for a data plan when I don’t text that much and have managed, to this point, to live without farting apps or being able to surf the web while waiting in line at the grocery store. In fact, you might argue – ok, I might argue because you’ve owned a smartphone for years and already are convinced I’m a 7o-year-old woman – that my life is more “in the moment” and fulfilling because I’m not playing Angry Birds. I actually have to look around me while standing in line to kill time. Sometimes I even have to talk to people.

But I want to upgrade my phone. Like now.

J. isn’t being all crazy about it or anything; he’s willing to upgrade…but On. His. Own. Time. Which is testing my patience and my current phone’s shelf life. (Is it wrong to pray that I hope my phone goes to the permanent recycling place in the sky so I have to get a new one?)

Even worse: he’s applying logic to the situation — as responsible adults do, we are trying to be smart with our expenses and the timing of new expenditures, especially right after the holidays, before tax time, etc. The smart thing would be to switch our phones (low or no cost models) and calling plan (low data version) after we square away our bills.

Smart-fart. He won’t admit it, but my husband is a ludite, at least of PC/mobile phone variety. (He talks lovingly of a new flatscreen TV and stereo system…but, come to think of it, he hasn’t taken the plunge on those either.) He’s content with basic technology, so for now we’re gonna party like it’s 1989: