Well. Here I am…again…after 2 weeks away. Sorry ’bout that. Between being knee-deep in a blur of damask, DJs, swirls, florists and other wedding planning, and then being out of commission for 4 days with a seasonal bug I’m way behind the eight ball. What’s hard about blogging again for the first time since a break is what the heck to write about.
Which is why I present to you
My Two Weeks in Review:
One Part Update; Two, Three, Four… Parts Nonsense
As I mentioned above, the wedding planning is going well and going whether I want it to or not. We’ve secured just about all of the “big” vendors for the big day (in December!), but have a few more to go. Seriously, I’m hitting the wall with all of it, but J. has been my partner in crime in all of this and is helping out a lot.
Two funny stories from the last two weeks:
1. J., my kids and I went to a local bridal show last Sunday. It was a bit like “one of these things doesn’t look like the other” because there we were — the 40+ old fogies and blended family — among all of these 20-something brides with their moms and BFFs. Drama Girl was totally digging the bridal store booth set up with gowns and models on display. At one of these booths the lady looked at us looking at some tiara/headpiece get-up and asked, “…And who is the bride here?”
Hmm. Let’s see. I think it’s illegal to marry off 9 year-olds, so that would be ME.
2. I told DG that I had made appointments at two different bridal salons, the first coming up this Sunday. I explained that, although I know she’s dying to get her junior bridesmaid dress, we may not have time to look at them at this appointment. Her response:
“Yeah, I figured we’d only have time to try on the elderly dresses when we go.”
Please. Pass me the Metamucil and remind me to pack some Depends when we go.
My kids are back to pleading for a dog. I can blame this partially on J., who LOVES dogs and is like the Dog Whisperer, and partly on my next-door neighbor, who has the most wonderful Rhodesian Ridgeback…all 5 months and nearly 60 pounds of him. (The dog, not the neighbor.) Anyway, we’ve gone over it before and we went over it again that we just aren’t getting a pet…just yet.
Coincidentally, The Ex happened to mention to me 2 weeks ago that he was bringing a pet snake home for the kids. He had originally intended to get them a garter snake, but then found out they’re indigenous to PA and therefore not sold in stores. So, what is the next best thing, you ask? I’ll tell you.
A ball python.
A ball FREAKIN’ python.
Holy crapoli, you might add. After reaching for a Depends, I certainly did.
Now, you have to understand this came as no surprise to me because a) The Ex is Mr. Wildlife/Outdoors/Circle of Life/Grew up with 2 brothers and snakes and snapping turtles and all sorts of other critters; and b) he just does these kinds of things. Like, for example, getting our kids a pet python.
I also must mention that, while being a dufus at times, he would do nothing to harm our children and is very safety conscious. After grilling him and then seeing the reptile palace in person I can see it’s bolted securely and designed to keep Brownie — yes, Brownie because he’s/she’s brown with caramel colored spots — inside. I will also admit that I touched the snake. Have you ever touched a snake? It’s surprisingly soft.
Now, now. I know you want comment something very inappropriate here, but let’s stay with the program, shall we?…
By the way, the snake is full grown at 4 years old and about 3 feet long, so it won’t get any bigger. The kids seem to dig it (although I don’t like the idea of it constricting some poor mice, even if it needs to eat, too), but Brownie seems to satisfy their need for a pet for now.
Thank God in Heaven we are dog people.
I go through times when I just can’t fall asleep without an internal struggle between my body and brain. This has happened a few times in the last 2 weeks. Despite my life being peppered with pythons and wedding plans out the wazoo, I don’t think it has as much to do with stress per se as it has to do with my pillows.
I love my pillows. I hate my pillows. They hurt my neck because they’re too high. Then the one is too low. Then, like last night, I get frustrated that J. falls asleep in about 3 nanoseconds, regardless of his pillow situation, while I begin practically hyperventilating at the idea that I’m losing sleep with each breath — and I’M the one who needs 8 hours, not him. I’m not frustrated at him; I’m frustrated at myself.
There are other things I do to try to fall asleep like getting up to read for a while, and sometimes just laying my head on the mattress without a pillow until I can fall asleep (which ends up hurting my neck, too), but has anyone tried one of those high-priced conform to your head pillows? Or anything else that’s worked? (I’m thinking having a supply of some anti-sleep anxiety meds might help in drastic situations.) I’ve gotten used to down pillows and I’m trying some other stress reduction techniques, but I’m all ears.
Parenting, Extreme Makeover
Finally, I’ll share that the last two weeks have been full of both fun/amusing and aggravating parenting stories. I won’t bore you with more except that my pillow talk reminded me that one technique to embrace sleep is to cut out the computer or TV before going to bed. Perhaps it was coincidence then (or subconscious cause and effect) that I banned my children from watching TV (at my house, anyway) for the month of April.
Effective in getting my kids to listen to me in the morning and get ready as I ask them?
It was one of those not-as-rare-as-you’d-like-to-admit ineffective parenting moments, this one involving Extreme, Sweeping Statements.
I had had it Monday morning trying to get us out the door fully clothed on time without one of us (i.e., me) having a nervous breakdown. So I banned TV.
And wouldn’t you know, that evening after some griping about it T-Rex and Drama Girl played together really, really nice while I made dinner? The next night we went for a walk.
I’ve watched a few shows in the last two nights, but Tuesday night I decided to forego another catfight fest on Real Housewives of NYC for a half hour of reading a new magazine.
You know what? I slept really, really well that night.
OK, that’s the recap.