Garage sale madness

Our annual neighborhood garage sale takes place this Saturday. We missed it last year because we were wining, dining and gambling in Vegas at the time. The payback for that little trip is that we’ve had to stockpile crap — loads of crap: ours, the kids’, Joe’s parents’, Joe’s deceased aunt’s, my parents’, ours — in our basement for over two years. But it’s almost over! Along with kids’ toys and home decor we’ve outgrown, we’ve been rediscovering and sorting a variety of items for the big event.

  • Looking to outfit your retro game room wtih an early 70’s standing ashtray? We’ve got one! How about an abstract mushroom motif-on-wood chip-and-dip tray to go with it? Or mid-century lamps to illuminate all of your awesome vintageness?
  • Need holiday tchotckes to keep the stinkbugs in your attic company? We don’t, so we’re selling a bunch of ornaments, lights, kitchenware and ceramic figurines- much of it new or hardly used. It’s like a Christmas miracle in April!
  • I know you’ve thought about starting a decorative copper cake mold collection. Well, wait no longer! (Thanks, Mom and Dad. I have fond memories of those copper molds hanging in our kitchen right over the harvest gold print wallpaper.)
  • And what better way to honor the ’80’s and ’90’s — and the infomercials they spawned — than to recreate the home gym from your parents’ basement in YOUR basement? We don’t have any Jane Fonda VHS tapes, but you will find a 1980’s stationary bike, the Total Gym, some arm-pulley thing, an ab cruncher (or is it an ab roller?) and an unidentified fitness object that we still plan to sell.

See, we’ll have lots of stuff, all low-low priced and artfully arranged! Now all we need are customers, cash and, speaking for myself, a few stiff drinks. The drinks can start today.

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