My son has been having some issues lately with the “p” word– puberty — which he and his sister will only refer to by its first letter. Right before Easter we noticed that T-Rex began emitting a deadly, hormone-induced BO. I admit that I first teased him about it — albeit in the privacy of our own home — in an attempt to shame him into using shampoo and soap. That felt horrible to write. Who wants to shame their kid into anything? I didn’t, but you should know that a few months earlier T-Rex went through a phase where he frequently “forgot” to use shampoo and soap until I called him on it. (Aside: I have a new respect for fifth-grade teachers.)
Anyway, I finally realized that he was washing up, but that Ivory wasn’t doing the job. Bad mom! Then I felt really bad when I read his last-minute note to the Easter Bunny, who he still believes in:
Dear Easter Bunny,
I would love if you could give me a 3DS game called “Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D,” a bottle of cologne and a bottle of hair gel. I love you!
T-Rex (Your Best Bud – YBB)
I ran out to the grocery store at 10:30 p.m. and picked up hair gel and Old Spice. Hey, it was that or Brut – what do you expect at 10:30 p.m. at the grocer?! I also picked up a package of Irish Spring deodorant soap.
I imagine my son is now the cleanest, manly-est smelling kid in his class.