Wrong, wrong, wrong

Cougar, originally uploaded by ashour rehana.

The kids and I just came back from a dinner out at Red Robin. Now, I’m usually pretty clueless about guys noticing me, and even me noticing guys for more than a casual “Yeah, he’s [hot/cute]” moment. I mean, I love me a handsome man to look at, but I don’t make a fuss or get worked up about it, nor do I have an innate ability to flirt with strangers. I’m a terrible flirt, really — in the “terrible-terrible” way, not the “terrible-cool” way.

There must be something in that family-friendly air, though, (with an emphasis on friendly) because I found myself staring at all of the hot young waiters. I mean, like practically drooling. There were a lot of them to look at, especially ours. Big brown eyes, long eyelashes. Curly dark brown hair. A muscular-but-lean bod he undoubtedly shapes with lots of reps between basketball practice and math homework. Polite with a cute, eager-to-please smile.

Okay, so he was just taking our order, but still. Later he asked me me twice — TWICE — “Are you sure there isn’t anything else I can get you?”

Hmmm. C’mon! He’s very mature for his age…he must be at least 18 or 19.


I also realized that under my black pant suit I’m wearing a top that has a sort of leopard print on it. Not exactly a cougar, but…

To top it all off, we didn’t order 2 lb. burgers with french fries or fried onion towers. Nope: a mac ‘n cheese with apple slices for T-Rex, a mini pizza and a side of carrots and dip for Drama Girl, and a small chili and side salad for me.

There are just so many things wrong here.


20 thoughts on “Wrong, wrong, wrong

  1. T says:


    Yeah, I was picking on my soldier the other day about how he’ll be attracted to young girls when he returns from Iraq and will have just turned 40… and dammit, I do the same thing with hot young guys. I guess lack-o-sex makes us all a little crazy. But hey, at least you’re getting some. πŸ˜‰

  2. You are woman — let them hear you roar!

    More to the point, I’ve concluded there’s no way to escape both noticing the hot young men languishing all around and feeling silly to notice them.

    C’est la vie, as they say. Viva la difference.

  3. You know, I’ve been to that Red Robin and never noticed anyone particularly drool-worthy. Maybe they’ve changed their hiring policies.

    Or maybe I’ve been going at the wrong times. I think I know where I’ll be going out for dinner this weekend.

    Also, the cougar photo is nice, but next time please post a photo of your server.

  4. Lunchroomβ€”
    Gay male co-worker, female married co-worker and me.

    FMCW: Heather, that’s what you should do, be a cougar, go find a young thing and have some fun. You should do that too GMCW.

    Back at deskβ€”
    I phone GMCW: Do I look old enough to be a cougar?
    GMCW: Do I?

    I’m going to stand on my head now.

    Enjoy the sites!

  5. Ladies: I’m cracking up about your comments! Thanks for the support…except for Burgh Baby, even though, well, yes I asked for it.

    Cindy and Co-Worker: Maybe it was just the night I went, but let’s definitely have a drool night out at the RR here! Perhaps my dear Joshua will be working. *sigh*

    T: No comment πŸ˜‰

    Madame Queen: I may go blind if I keep ogling young/likely underage males, but perhaps there’s a special place for blind old bags in hell…

    Cheese: I did see a similar reference on your blog recently — too funny! And as Cindy commented, there seems to be no escaping both the lure of youth and the silliness of old age. (paraphrasing of course!)

  6. Heather: Well, consider yourself in good company — I guess “cougar” is a state of mind. Besides, we’re practically like 90 to someone who’s that young!

    (I WAS enjoying the sights, but now I’m afraid I will be struck down by lightning.)

  7. Last time I went to Red Robin I had an adorable waiter, too. Mine was, in fact, 18, and entering his first year of college at Pitt. Don’t you just love adorable waiters? Something more to drool over besides the delicious food…but apparently you didn’t order it πŸ˜‰

    Looking forward to seeing you again soon!

  8. curt says:

    ok, I’ll take your word for it, susan. but, last time we were in that RR, I didn’t notice the GF drooling over any of the servers — most of whom had more pimples than I collectively had over my many years.

    perhaps they’ve made some new hires. if so, I’m keeping the GF outta there….

  9. I’ve been to RR a couple of times, and every time they ask me if I’ve been there before. What happens if I say no — do they explain the concept to me? I’ve eaten out before, I understand the concept. I look at the menu, then I tell you what I want, and you bring it to me. Sorry to tell you, folks at Red Robin, but that ain’t exactly high concept you’ve got going on there.

  10. Allison: finally! someone who’s had an adorable, barely legal waiter! Looking forward to seeing you, too.

    Curt: Maybe it’s just a new crop of hires? Or maybe I really am blind? And I didn’t even have beer goggles on…

    (Hey, people, I was with my children! Give me some credit for not boozing it up and THEN ogling the wait staff in front of them.)

    Bob: I have to agree with you here. Even at the most complicated restaurants (which RR is not), it’s just.not.that.complicated.

  11. Dang. Heading to Red Robin…

    I got oggly once in a mall clothing store – I swear the guy helping me was the shirtless hunk of man that was the floor-to-ceiling advertisement on the place’s wall.

    He was also probably 18. Maybe. Hopefully.

    …and I once flirted with a guy in baby talk, so I totally relate with “terrible flirting”. Go get’em anyway, tiger.

  12. littlemansmom says:

    Meow!errr…sorry, I meant ROARRRRRRRRRRRRR!! LOL If you are HOT then you are HOT! (and there is never any harm in a little friendly flirting now IS there πŸ˜‰ )

  13. Next time a hot waiter asks that question, simply say, “How about your phone number?” Then laugh. That way it’s out there, but you can pawn it off as a flirtatious joke.

    One time I was buying some audio equipment and the woman ringing me up was filling out a form with my info. She asked, “Name? Address? Phone number? What are you doing Saturday night?”

    I said, “excuse me?” and she said “haha, just kidding.” Then I figured it out (I’m slow) and tried asking her out, but it was too late. I missed the beat. Had I acted immediately, I think she would have gone out with me!

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