The Ex is celebrating a birthday this week, and, for a moment, I felt guilty about not taking the kids to buy him a card or gift. Then I remembered that he’s just not into birthdays or holidays — his own or anyone else’s. And except for Christmases and one Mother’s Day since our divorce, he has never taken the kids to get me anything, or to encourage them to make me anything (from what I can tell). I realize this isn’t exclusive to divorced parents, and I don’t mean to seem all sour grapes, but why bother when it’s going to fall flat? I’ve done it plenty of times to see the result. I asked the kids to make him cards, which they did with great enthusiasm, so I hope those will bring him pleasure. Honestly, I don’t even know!
He’s a good father; I just have a hard time understanding his way of thinking…still. (Never said I was a quick study.) It’s not wrong to consider each day the same, as he does — one big continuum of time like he blathered on about one New Year’s Eve right before midnight. (For the record, I finally told him, “Would you just be quiet and let me watch the ball drop?!”) It’s just not me, even though I played it off for years. Not me at all. We’re different that way, and I’ve been trying very hard to respect our differences.
So when I asked if he wanted me to bring the kids over to his house on Sunday, Father’s Day, I wasn’t entirely surprised that he told me he wasn’t going to be around. He said he’d celebrate with them tonight instead, but I think that was only to please (appease?) me.
That’s how we left it: two adults not really understanding each other, but possibly getting better at respecting each other…or at the very least, accepting that we’ll never change.