Recipe for Sadness

Take 2 people crazy about each other.

Add 1 crisis after another.

Find 1 person struggling to cope with it all; the other struggling to support and understand.

Mix well. Serves 2 large doses of frustration and disappointment.

Coach and I find ourselves at a place where we never thought we’d be when we started dating only a few months ago. Through no one’s fault we’ve faced one obstacle after another, and it has worn us down. We’ve decided to take a step back so he can work through some things. I need to let him do that work.

From the start we’ve agreed we have tremendous potential as a couple. I need to let this take it’s own course and right now that is hard. Very hard.


15 thoughts on “Recipe for Sadness

  1. I would like to wish that this were an April Fool’s post, but I’m afraid it’s not.

    I’m sorry that things are moving ahead the way you and Coach would like. I have been really excited for you — I’m sure everyone who knows you has.

    Some very good friends of mine went through a similar situation in early stages of their relationship, and eventually they were able to weather the storms and get together. I’m wishing the best for you.

  2. Cindy, thanks so much for your kind words. I forgot it was April 1, but unfortunately there’s no fooling on this one. Thanks for your good wishes.

  3. I think recognizing the potential in the relationship and caring enough about that relationship to step back for a moment or two is amazing. It takes courage and hope. You obviously have both.

    I hope it all works out in the end…

  4. Susan, my heart is aching for you. You get monster huge points for taking a step back, though. That is a brilliantly mature thing to do, even though it’s gotta suck.

    Mr B & I both struggle with depression. Last fall (one of my first posts, in fact,) we ran into some rough terrain. I wish I had been mature enough to take a step back instead of desperately clutching.

    And this week I seem to be running into something else. This time I may need to suck it up and try being mature about taking some space. It scares me, though. I may be pushing 50 but some parts of me are still 22.

    I’ll be sending strong thoughts.

  5. Oh Susan. I am so sorry to hear this. I thought it was getting better!!!

    You know all of this sounds familiar to me too. All you can do is have faith that it will work out the way its supposed to. I know from personal experience that that previous statement sucks big time but unfortunately (and fortunately!), it is true.

    Just remember through all of this that you have found each other and you both care for each other a great deal. What a wonderful blessing! That part is so very REAL. The rest is something… something that you or he need to do alone… but knowing that you’re there for each other, even in the background, is the one thing that will help strengthen the other during this time of need. Like you’ve told me before, you give him HOPE.

    I’m sending you lots of hugs and prayers.

  6. party girl says:


    I will send good thoughts your way. Having just been through this myself, I know how hard it can be. When life throws you one curve ball after another, it can get you down. Recently I was at the lowest point I have been in a very long time. My relationship did not make it. I was not with someone that gave me the support/understanding I needed. I know you are hurting, but there is no where to go but up from here. If you two can make it through this, nothing else can or will stop you! In my experience, I have found happiness again..though it is with someone else.

  7. Well that just sucks! I’m sorry things didn’t get better for you two. Keep him in your heart and know that you deserve great things. Very good thinking to step back instead of run away screaming. I’m sure the wheel of fortune will turn in your favour soon. Whether it’s the coach sitting on the knobby or not, at least you now know the feelings you are going for. I’ll be thinking of you.

  8. Susan,
    I’m so sorry to hear this news. But I have a feeling you two will be back and stronger than ever. In the meantime, is it any consolation for me to tell you that even in sadness your writing is stronger than ever?

  9. Guys: thank you all for your support and sharing some of your stories. Your words mean a lot to me. And, Julie, despite being sad, I appreciate the compliment all the same.

  10. Where have I been? I feel like I’ve missed a whole chapter of what’s been going on with you. I’m so sorry that it’s turned out this way, but maybe you can pick things up again down the road.

  11. I’m two+ months into seeing the Biologist, and I’d describe our relationship right now as you put it. Exactly. Wow.

    I need to step back a little right now. He’s going through a lot, so maturely and with so much genuineness, but he’s working on a lot right now. I’m not sure I can take that on. I haven’t blogged about this… You got me to put this down.

    I’m sending you a warm hug. Thank you for this.

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