Why don’t we see this on HGTV?

TV Stand

I decided today to assemble my new corner TV stand, which I recently purchased from LL Bean. The good news is that I finished it…today. The bad news is that I spent way too much time fiddling with what appear to be simple gadgets, but are actually tools designed to befuddle DIYers like me (read: unskilled and clumsy).

Let’s examine the tools and project more closely:

Friends…or foes?

1. I must start off by telling you that I find the hexagonal wrench possibly the MOST ANNOYING tool ever designed — probably because one has to use it to tighten bolts in the darkest, most awkward and annoying corners of furniture. I was not a happy camper after an hour of itty-bitty turns and fumbling to get the wrench positioned correctly each time in the awkward, remote corners of my TV stand. I thought things were about to get better when I moved on to the next phase of assembly: using a screwdriver. However…

2. I discovered — yet again — that I don’t have a small enough Phillips screwdriver to deal with tiny wood screws like those that were included for the door hinges. So I did what I always do: I used the screwdriver of my knock-off swiss army knife. Then, I did what I always do next: I proceeded to practically strip all of the screws after an hour of itty-bitty, forcible turns with my fake screwdriver. But I didn’t get them all the way into the wood because I forgot that…

3. “Predrilled holes” are not predrilled at all! Many projects ago I was shocked to learn that “predrilled” actually translates to “pin pricks made by some poor laborer in a third-world country who doesn’t give a hoot about some whacked-out woman swearing at those tiny wood screws when they won’t go all the way in.” The problem is that I never remember this until I’ve almost completely stripped the screws trying to force them in. And then I have to turn to my friend, Drill, for help.

4. I’m sort of scared of Drill, based on my propensity to destroy things with it, but today Drill helped me show those pitiful pin pricks what was what. (What?) Anyway, after redrilling the holes I got the wood screws in almost the whole way! Yeah, WAY! Good enough for me!

(Besides, it’s not like anything is going to be sitting on the hinges, ya know?)

5. You might be wondering about the Sharpie in the photo. Let’s just say it’s perfect for covering up a nick here or there…

Not that any of them came from me, of course.


8 thoughts on “Why don’t we see this on HGTV?

  1. Nearly all the furniture in my living and dining rooms was assembled, by me, with much swearing, from items in boxes that arrived via UPS or heavy courier.

    The piano is one great exception.

    I curse the hexagonal wrench too. I have a whole bunch of them in my tool box, all from different pieces, and none of them the same as the others. They are evil.

    But your resulting TV stand looks lovely! A few years from now, when you’re still using it, all this pain will be but a distant memory.

  2. Too bad you’ll have to go through the whole process again in 2009, when the FCC will require all tv stands to be converted to digital tv stands. That’s clearly an analog stand you got there.

  3. curt says:

    after all that, it looks great, susan!

    remind me one of these days and I can regale you with my story of putting my stereo component stand together a few years ago — it’s good stuff.

  4. We bought some kitchen chairs from Ikea recently and I warned my husband that I had heard Ikea stuff was notoriously difficult to put together, but amazingly I didn’t hear a single curse word while he was assembling them.

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