I took the kids to Dick’s Sporting Goods over the weekend to pick up some soccer stuff. (Yep, more magnet ball is coming soon!) While there I noticed an attractive father with his two young daughters. I saw him looking at me a few times. Once or twice he smiled at me.
Wowie wow-wow — was this guy actually checking me out?!
I’m not out looking for attention or dates, and I could see the wedding band on his finger, but it’s nice to think you’re attractive to the opposite sex (or the same sex, or to mannequins, or whatever you like). So I dared to think “yes” — or at least “maybe.”
But then I thought “I hope not” because I had made the mistake of not caring what I wore out in public that day. I had chosen the oldest, most unflattering sweater I owned, which I was showing to all because it was hot in the store and I had taken my coat off. The sweater was clean (that morning) and cute (once upon a time)…but well past its prime. [Insert joke about sweaters looking like their owners after spending too much time together.] My faded jeans and scuffed boots didn’t help, but what the heck, I smiled back.
Minutes later I found myself standing behind the guy and his family in the checkout line. It was then that I saw his wife. It was hard not to notice her: she bore more than a passing resemblance to the lovely Eva Longoria Parker, and was dressed all Hollywood style — or what I imagine to be Hollywood style — in a minidress similar to this and black, shiny, knee-high stiletto boots.
Had I misunderstood the smiles?
Had he been temporarily blinded by the patent leather/synthetic material of her footwear?
Is it appropriate to use the term “patent leather” when describing black, shiny, f-m boots?
Most importantly, while I applaud his wife for looking darn good and taking pride in her style, why in god’s name was she wearing this get-up to Dick’s on a Saturday afternoon… in Western PA… when it was 40 degrees out?
I’ll never know, but I threw the sweater out when I got home.
(Another thing I did was get my daily fix of Go Fug Yourself. It helps to know even the Evas of this world have bad fashion days.)