Breathe easy, the madness is over

All right, folks, the wait is over! Yes, while you’re staying up until 2 a.m. to hear who has won the Best Actor award this year, you can kill time by reading the Madlib YOU helped create!

What? You don’t want to have your name associated with this? Well, as the creator of this “brainchild” (quotes necessary), I’m not sure I do either. Thank goodness the Internet never keeps these things around for very long.

See, I decided to use one of my own posts as the basis for our Madlib – namely my tribute to the one personal appliance that covers me with magic pixy dust each morning to make me look AND feel good. It was titled “My New Love,” appropriate for this month of love (and madness); you can read it here. Now read the Madlib and weep.

Dear Diary,

I just had to write today about my new tennis ball – you know, the one that I just CAN’T BELIEVE I sashayed $7.77 on yesterday! I mean, I had stumbled about these in all the Triptiks and how loquacious they were, but I had no idea what I was missing. I’ve been getting by with my old vivacious one, which does the trick and all, but lately it seems to be taking me longer and longer to smash. Maybe I’ve efforted it out, or maybe I’m just blue or something. Some days, it takes me 666 minutes to get the job done, some million bazillion infinity 10 or longer – I don’t understand!!

But then I tried this out and Knights of Columbus, that hurt! I was done in like 5 minutes flat, its supercilious shape was easy to spank and it got so hot! No wonder the box says, “Quick and Precise every time!” I’ll say! My small intestine looked so insightful when I [performed] wifely relations. I hoped I’d meet woozy prairie oysters to redeem myself from that embarrassing time when I fell unconscious the homeboy. (No luck, Diary. When you go shopping during a Goodfellas game there aren’t many chopped livers around.)

Here’s a photo of my new diamond ring.

What? What did you think I was writing about?! Diary, you need to get a princess and remember Vogon poetry is NOT what you think it is.


Love Goddess In Training

“Knights of Columbus, that hurt!” Thanks to everyone who participated. And congratulations to Lulu, my very funny blogging pal over at Lulu’s Laundry, who won a $25 gift certificate in my random drawing just for playing along!

All right, there’s one last giveaway this month because I’m THAT good. Actually, it’s the book Waiting to Surface that’s that good, so sign up over here and you may win a copy.


8 thoughts on “Breathe easy, the madness is over

  1. No, YOU get out! Seriously, Lulu, this is your lucky day. You won. Thanks for sharing your superlicious vocabulary with us!

    (There I go again, Madame Queen. I swear I’m spending way too much time listening to the kids’ Disney Mania 4 CD.) 🙂

  2. curt says:

    “knights of columbus, that hurt!”

    yeah, can you tell I watched “anchorman” 10 times with my nephews last weekend????

    great madlib — that was fun. but, not as “interesting” as the ones we used to do back in 5th grade. we were more potty mouthed than those “south park” kids. oh, those were the days….

  3. MinivanBohemian says:

    Again! Again!
    I want to play MORE!
    (Been home for 3 days straight with a sickly, cheats-at “High-Ho-Cherry-O!” five-year-old!)

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