Awesome-hot and heating up*

People, I’m gearing up for what promises to be a thrilling month of blog posts of love and free giveaways, beginning February 1! Yes, that’s right – love, free stuff, FREE LOVE* for weeks! CHEAP THRILLS* and shameless promotion, it’ll all be here!

What? The over-hyped holiday of VALENTINE’S DAY makes you want to:

a) scream

b) cry

c) choke on your own vomit

d) choke on someone else’s vomit

d) all the above

e) none of the above [skip to the end and just wait for the next post, m’kay?]

Well, dammit, I haven’t had a fun Valentine’s day in a long time, so regardless of what happens in my love life (and there may be just such a something 😉 ) I have posts and contests planned for all of you screaming-crying-retchers! Yes, and even you love bugs! Maybe even a contest to guess how many exclamation points and capital letters I can use in a single stream-of-conscious-consciousness-manic-no clue-where-I’m-going-with-this-ill-advised post!

I will leave you hanging with that little teaser while I figure out exactly what I mean by “contests” and “free stuff,” but I promise we’ll have fun.

In the meantime, I learned on the way to IKEA yesterday that my children know the meaning of “hot” — as in teenager-like, lusty “HOT”:

T-Rex: [we’re talking in the car about whatever]…Mom, did you know millipedes don’t have eyes?

Me: Nope, didn’t know that.

Ashley’s hotT-Rex: starts a long dissertation — wonder where he gets that from? — about Pokemon, millipedes and stuff that makes little sense to me. It all begins to run together in my head and I Mmmm, Yep, Uh-huh along with him until I hear him say… Ashley Tisdale is so hot!

Me: What did you say?

T-Rex: She’s hot!

Me: You’re too young to say that. If you think she is pretty, you can say “she’s pretty.”

T-Rex: I can say she’s hot if I want to.

Me: No you can’t.

T-Rex: Yes I can.

Me: No, you can’t. Pretty.

Drama Girl: I think Vanessa Hudgens is prettier.

T-Rex: Yeah, she’s hot!

Drama Girl: Zac is hot… [i.e., Zac Efron, Vanessa’s co-star and real life boyfriend]

Me:

Edvard, Help!

I didn’t get into the whole – “and everyone’s successful and smart, too, so let’s not focus on looks” bit because, honestly, all it took was turning the conversation back to Pokemon, which I still don’t understand and the kids STILL can’t explain to me, to get back to cool ground…for me anyway. I don’t think the kids were much affected by the experience.

Anyway, we got to IKEA to look for a loveseat for our tiny family room/makeshift office/playroom off of the kitchen. The only word I heard for the next 30 minutes as we walked through all of the pseudo apartments and living rooms was “AWESOME!” What can I say? It was music to my ears.

*If “divorced white women who wear pantyhose” didn’t get me new readers, I’m sure these phrases will.

Maybe I’ll pick up some teen readers, too, searching for their hot hearthrobs. 

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13 thoughts on “Awesome-hot and heating up*

  1. Jen says:

    Well it must run in the family. Zac Effron is hot and wants to marry Lindsey (or so she thinks) which will make her popular with all her friends. And my not even 2 year old claps whenever he sees Miley Cyrus (a.k.a. Hannah Montana) and starts to scream girl! girl!!

  2. Kid Rock’s latest cd is still playing in my car. I’m careful when the kids are onboard. Today Justin was singing to himself, “I found someone new who treats me better, she’s half your age, and twice as hot.” He can also belt out Yankie Doodle without missing a beat. Bring on the hot, love stuff…we can all use it.

  3. This thread is making my 50th birthday on Feb. 3 feel awful. Especially since I haven’t had a man touch me in over a year.
    Zaccy Efron was in one of his first plays with me up here on the Central Coast. San Luis Obispo, to be exact. We did “Mame” together quite a while back. He played Mame’s Nephew as a kid. I knew he’d make it.

  4. Lisa, I’m not sure I should tell my daughter that you KNOW Zac Effron (“Zaccy” — love it). She would freak! Hey, and now I have a claim to fame!

    And, by the way, 50 is the new 40. Honestly and truly.

  5. Susan,
    My 50th sucked. I spent it alone. Yes, I do know Zac. He was so good in Mame. He grew up not far from me. We had blast. Not long after Mame he was in Peter Pan at PCPA in Santa Maria. His parents drove him 3 hours to auditions, once they knew he had it……and he does. Plus, at least when we were in shows together, he was one of the sweetest, most polite, and fun middle school kids, I ever worked with. I love his parents.
    Lisa

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