Remember the response I got from the guy on the online dating site who finally contacted me — with another email address at which to contact him? Well, late last week he responded to my chipper “hello, how are you” note at his preferred his email address with this:
Hi Susan. Thanks for the note. Just wanted to send a couple of phone numbers- office:…, home:… Look forward to talking. — Guy Who Drags His Feet
I must tell you I was annoyed. Very, very annoyed. I mean, PUHLEASE! Could you show some f&%*#ing effort here?! Why was this all on me? It would’ve been different if he had written something like, “Hey, thanks for your note. I’m not much of an emailer — can we talk instead? What’s better for you – would you like me to call you, or you call me?”
Against my better judgment I sent him a note that went something like this:
Hey, asshole, what gives? I’m not getting any younger and I can’t believe I paid $34.99 per month for this kind of nonsense. Do you want to get to know me or not?
Oh, I’m sorry, that was just my draft. The one I sent was more like:
Hi, Guy Who Can’t Muster Enough Strength to Answer My Emailed Questions or Write More than 10 Words at a Time! I didn’t realize you wanted to chat rather than email, so let’s do this — why don’t you call me at my cell # […] I’ll be off of work on Friday and around much of the weekend, so feel free to call me at a time that’s good for you. Have a good evening, Susan
Hi Susan. email . . . phone . . . etc . . . whatever works. I’ll try and give a call tomorrow or sometime this weekend. Happy Thursday. Talk with you soon. — The Wet Noodle
No surprise I received no calls. I’m sure it was for the best because Susie ain’t got no patience for this kind of nonsense, and who knows what I would’ve ended up saying to him. Then again, maybe he really WAS attempting the “etc.” communication method — telepathy? smoke signals?
Here’s another odd thing: he’d put only the name of the weekday in his email subject line. Like I couldn’t figure it out from the time stamp, or as a friend said, maybe he’s so wet noodlish and uninspired he didn’t even know what to write.
I had a few chuckles over this one, but it’s time to move on. In fact, after that last email I did decide to sign up on a more happening dating site, so we’ll see what, um, happens. I assure you, there will be something; there always is.
Let me know if you can figure out the “etc.” It might be interesting to try out.