Remember the response I got from the guy on the online dating site who finally contacted me — with another email address at which to contact him? Well, late last week he responded to my chipper “hello, how are you” note at his preferred his email address with this:

Hi Susan. Thanks for the note. Just wanted to send a couple of phone numbers- office:…, home:… Look forward to talking. — Guy Who Drags His Feet

I must tell you I was annoyed. Very, very annoyed. I mean, PUHLEASE! Could you show some f&%*#ing effort here?! Why was this all on me? It would’ve been different if he had written something like, “Hey, thanks for your note. I’m not much of an emailer — can we talk instead? What’s better for you – would you like me to call you, or you call me?”

Against my better judgment I sent him a note that went something like this:

Hey, asshole, what gives? I’m not getting any younger and I can’t believe I paid $34.99 per month for this kind of nonsense. Do you want to get to know me or not?

Oh, I’m sorry, that was just my draft. The one I sent was more like:

Hi, Guy Who Can’t Muster Enough Strength to Answer My Emailed Questions or Write More than 10 Words at a Time! I didn’t realize you wanted to chat rather than email, so let’s do this — why don’t you call me at my cell # […] I’ll be off of work on Friday and around much of the weekend, so feel free to call me at a time that’s good for you. Have a good evening, Susan

His response?

Hi Susan. email . . . phone . . . etc . . . whatever works. I’ll try and give a call tomorrow or sometime this weekend. Happy Thursday. Talk with you soon. — The Wet Noodle

No surprise I received no calls. I’m sure it was for the best because Susie ain’t got no patience for this kind of nonsense, and who knows what I would’ve ended up saying to him. Then again, maybe he really WAS attempting the “etc.” communication method — telepathy? smoke signals?

Here’s another odd thing: he’d put only the name of the weekday in his email subject line. Like I couldn’t figure it out from the time stamp, or as a friend said, maybe he’s so wet noodlish and uninspired he didn’t even know what to write.

I had a few chuckles over this one, but it’s time to move on. In fact, after that last email I did decide to sign up on a more happening dating site, so we’ll see what, um, happens. I assure you, there will be something; there always is.

Let me know if you can figure out the “etc.” It might be interesting to try out.


7 thoughts on “Sunday

  1. cynthiacloskey says:

    Blecch. I guess it’s no surprise that no one has snatched up that gem of a fellow from the valley of bachelorhood. Maybe this is the set of hoops he uses to separate the interested from the desperate. In any case, best to move on.

  2. lanipai says:

    I hate to say this, but maybe he just isn’t a good emailer. That is why I say, “ya gotta see the whites of their eyes!”

    You should get yourself a soccer stud or at least have one chase ya around. Their good at that!

  3. I too find it very frustrating to “chat” online with guys and then it never amount to anything, not even a phone call to see if we like the sound of each other’s voice. You can’t tell by email really, unless of course they are incapable of putting a sentence together and I’m sorry, that just doesn’t fly with me. Of course, sometimes when you do connect it’s frustrating and disappointing.

    I have my profile hidden, so I do the initial contacting. If I don’t hear back from them within a timeframe, I delete my message (on this particular “free” site they can tell I have done this). If we are e-chatting, and they say something like, yes, it would be interesting to chat sometime or my favourite, “looking forward to chatting soon”, I wait to hear from them. If I don’t, delete, delete. I spend my day in front of a computer. I’m on the site to “meet” people not give my fingers more of a workout.

    I think Terry is right, if they can’t keep up with us online, how will they ever walk beside us? Or, do we have “a woman’s expectation” on the timing? Maybe guys are just slower.

  4. Ladies: thanks for your blech, ugh, goober, sheesh, delete-delete-DELETE! support. I couldn’t agree with you more. I’m already getting a better response at ye ol’, which is always flattering — and truthfully they may not all be a great match, but they seem (in writing) to be not too crazy. Two so far look like we may even progress to the phone stage…and that was/is AFTER a few emails.

    Lanipai: you’re absolutely right we need to see the whites of their eyes to really know. Getting to that point, however, doesn’t seem an option with the Wet Noodles out there. This is probably a good thing because, as I’ve said, I might ROLL my eyes at their wishy-washiness in person. Ah, the soccer stud. I’ll have to carry a “wanted” sign around with me when my kids’ spring season starts.

    Writesome: I don’t disagree that guys are just slower…in many ways! (ha, sorry, guys.) But if a guy can’t meet my unique “woman’s expectation” about timing, I don’t think he’s the one for me. If someone is really interested they make an effort. Am I right?

    And Terry, yes. I think you’re right. 😉

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