If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you know that The Ex pops up in my writing now and then; he’s still — and will always be — a part of my life because of our kids. While I admit to a few snarky comments, I haven’t written about my divorce per se because it was a while ago and it’s really no one’s business. Even during those dark days, weeks and months after we split, when I cried every night wondering why my life wasn’t where it was supposed to be, it seemed counterproductive to waste energy on regret, or on rehashing everything to death (although at the time I did do a lot of that with my friends — thank you, friends). I still believe that kind of stuff is counterproductive.
Don’t get me wrong, we’re divorced for a reason, albeit a fairly undramatic one: an extreme left-brain/right-brain combo gone bad, two people who are pretty much incapable of really relating to or connecting with each other under the surface. After nearly 5 years of being apart I can only say that there hasn’t been a single day when I’ve felt I made the wrong choice, one I can tell you honestly that I agonized over. But although we aren’t “partners” anymore, we are 100% committed to raising our children together.
I read this post at Babble.com (plus the related links) about amicable divorces and the effects of divorce in general on children. The Ex and I have worked hard to put our children first throughout this. We don’t always agree with each other, but he’s a good father, who wants to spend time with his children and to be involved in their lives. Neither of us is perfect. Our situation isn’t ideal, and I know people may not understand or agree with it. But it’s always been a priority for us to help our kids grow up knowing they are loved and accepted, whether it is in one house or two.
For that, Ex, I thank you for being a true partner with me.
(Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.)