No one disses my Prius

Well, no surprise I didn’t receive a call from “Wally of the Six Pack Abs.” This latest example seems to be going with 2007’s trend of unfulfilled promises and poor dating behavior: the friend of another friend’s friend who was “really interested” in meeting me and then never even bothered to send an email. The friend of yet another friend’s husband who said after our lunch date, “this was fun, let’s definitely do it again!” and then never did.

Obviously not the smartest guys out there, huh?

So tonight I fully expected to stay in and enjoy pizza with my kids instead of a date with Wally and I did. Probably the biggest tipoff (well, almost bigger than the “Are your tubes tied?” question) was when he asked me what kind of car I drove. I told him a Prius, which I loved. Being from the Honda camp, he said, “Oh, well, we’ll have to change that.”

I smiled and said, “No we won’t.”

A friend sent the following story to me about 3 months ago. I don’t know who wrote it or what end of the Internet/email world it started from, but it seems particularly appropriate now, seeing the 2007 dating trend continue. What do you think?

Once upon a time

in a land far away,

a beautiful, independent,

self-assured princess

happened upon a frog as she sat

contemplating ecological issues

on the shores of an unpolluted pond

in a verdant meadow near her castle.

~~~~~~~~

The frog hopped into the princess’ lap

and said: “Elegant Lady,

I was once a handsome prince,

until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

One kiss from you, however,

and I will turn back

into the dapper, young prince that I am

and then, my sweet, we can marry

and set up housekeeping in your castle

with my mother,

where you can prepare my meals,

clean my clothes, bear my children,

and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.”

~~~~~~~~

That night,

as the princess dined sumptuously

on lightly sautéed frog legs

seasoned in a white wine

and onion cream sauce,

she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don’t freakin’ think so

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7 thoughts on “No one disses my Prius

  1. I’ve read this e-mail before…except for mine didn’t end with the word “freakin’.”

    Sorry about your dating woes. What kind of guy asks you BEFORE he even meets you if you can/are willing to have more children?! I say it’s a good thing he didn’t call back, although, it definitely would have been blog-worthy, I’m sure!! 🙂

  2. curt says:

    wally’s the half-naked runner dude in our neighborhood? whenever I’d pass him in my car, I always thought, “geezus, who’s this putz?”

  3. curt says:

    he actaully asked you about your ability to give birth???

    how about his ability to put his friggin’ shirt back on when he runs? no one needs to see that.

  4. Yes, friends, idiots live among us.

    Lulu, you’re right that the last line can be even punchier with a few letters swapped out. But I’m still recovering from my excessive profanity last week, so I’ll just use this PG version.

    Lulu and Mini, thanks for your comments and sympathy about the poor state of dating these days. But I completely agree — who the hell wants to get involved with that? The sad thing is, I’m starting to expect loser behavior, which is not great either. The good news is that I have a low threshold for stupidity now, so while I may be alone, I’m better off.

    Curt, I will plead ignorance if I find a half-naked runner lying by the side of the road with a big footprint on his ass…say, a footprint that is about your size?

    And, yes, he wanted to know if I could give birth. When asked I almost said, “gee I haven’t counted my eggs lately, so I don’t have any idea.” I mean, WTF?

  5. Singlemomseeking, a Prius, a book and writing career to your credit — and the bumper sticker? I knew you were a smart cookie when I found your blog! Thanks for stopping over.

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