An Open Letter to Authors Everywhere

Dear Published Author,

Please accept my sincere apologies for mocking the time it took for you to write your story so that one day I could bring it home in my shopping bag. As a novice novelist, I admit I may have read your bio and thought, “five years to write this? what the hell was he doing all that time?”*

Now I know what you were doing all that time.

You were sweating, cursing, editing, procrastinating, flipping through the thesaurus, cheering, thinking, staring off into space, and pleading with your muse. Tonight, I did all of those things in just a few hours as I finished the first rewrite of my manuscript – one year after the first draft, two years almost to the day after staring at that blank first page.

Two years, sixty-three thousand words and countless cups of coffee and sleep-deprived nights have made for a long journey. I know more words and revisions are needed and ahead of me. But I envision my book in someone’s shopping bag someday, so I can’t give up, not at this point. No matter how long it takes.

I promise not to mock or doubt you or the process again. Maybe you could put in a good word for me with your agent?

Thanks and best regards,


*If you are Stephen King, please disregard the above. We all know you can write a kagillion words in three months flat. Goody for you.

Damn showoff.


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