I’m not always the brightest bulb in the pack. Sometimes I need a few clues to catch on to what’s going on. Like last weekend when I saw the remains of a small furry animal in the mulch bed behind my house. It’s face was unrecognizable at the point I found it, but I noticed it had a tail – not a rodent or squirrel tail, but I couldn’t quite tell what kind. Despite living with an avid outdoorsman who taught me more than I ever wanted to know about the circle of life, I was grossed out at seeing a carcass becoming one with the earth, so I didn’t look any closer. Took the shovel from the garage, flung it into the wooded area nearby and forgot all about it.
Today after spending the afternoon at the pool, the kids and I were hanging out on the deck. I must have gone inside to get dinner ready when T-Rex mentioned something about seeing a raccoon go by, but wouldn’t explain any further. An hour or so later I went inside to clean up after dinner and looked out to see them pointing through the floorboards to something underneath the deck. Being the imbecile I am, I continued to clean up. Earth to Susan! Hello? You see where this is going, don’t you? The kids started tossing a frisbee around out back until I heard them chattering again about a raccoon. A raccoon under the deck. No, actually a raccoon in a crawl space under the house next to the deck.
I got down and from a distance looked where there’s a gap between the mulch and the bottom of my house under the family room window. A masked face stared back at me. No anger, no aggression, just on alert, wondering what I’m going to do. And that’s when from the corner of my eye I caught sight of 2 little masked marauders making their way under the deck towards her.
Shit. A family. I then remembered seeing what may have been rings around that little carcass’ tail. Eew.
So, tell me: has anyone ever had to get rid of racoons living under a deck or house? I read online that loud noise, rags covered with ammonia and coyote urine spray will get rid of them. As for the coyote urine, that’s right up The Ex’s alley, so I’ll ask him about that. Do you have any other suggestions on how to get them to move out? I’ve already warned the kids that they can carry disease (T-Rex: “what does that mean?”) and to stay away from them (Drama Girl: “Aw, but they’re so cute”) and me: “for God’s sake, don’t leave any food around or drop it under the deck!”