How Prepared are You?

I should be writing something a little more inspired or thought-provoking tonight, but I’ve been sidetracked with the end of school, end of soccer, end of May and, therefore, the beginning of summer. I’m a Virgo and a preparations kind of person by nature, although I’ve become more laid back in the last few years. (Yes, I’m serious. Please stop laughing.) In the business world I sometimes use charts to organize my thoughts. If I could figure out how to do a side-by- side comparison here I would, but it’s probably best I can’t. It would sidetrack me even more. So without further ado: a read on how well Susan and her family are prepared for summer.

Ways I am Prepared for Summer

  1. Planted flowers on Sunday and have kept them alive for 3 days.
  2. Cleaned deck, patio furniture and BBQ over the weekend.
  3. Planned week-long vacation in July.
  4. Purchased a few casual clothing items that fit. Similarly, narrowed down list of clothing items in catalogs I still need to buy.
  5. Used teeth whitener to enhance the effects of my future tan.
  6. Had spider veins treated.
  7. Hired someone to fix a shingle barely hanging onto the roof of the bay window, which is almost 2 stories up, over the garage and asphalt driveway. This doesn’t relate to summer, except that I’ve put this task off since last summer. Last week I finally called someone to fix it. Today I came home and – voila! – it was done. At times I would contemplate straddling my daughter’s bedroom window so I could reach down and nail it back into place. Good news: I decided that my DIY plan would not end well and hired someone instead. Bad news: I actually thought I might be able to do it myself.
  8. Located sunscreen only 2 years past the expiration date in the basement.
  9. Signed kids up for swimming lessons, bought them bathing suits and goggles.

Ways I am Not Prepared

  1. My BBQ ignition switch is not working for some reason, which means I will have to manually light the BBQ. The last time I had to do that I was in my early 20’s. The Ex (before he became a Husband) and I were at my parents, who weren’t home at the time, and their BBQ wasn’t working. Long story short, I had the gas cranked up for several seconds and I couldn’t get the match lit because it was windy. Then I couldn’t tell whether the BBQ had lit with the match. Without thinking I leaned over and promptly felt my bangs being singed off by a fireball leaping for the sky. Good news: I was not hurt, my singed hair could be restyled so it didn’t show, and we enjoyed our grilled steaks that evening. Bad news: I realized my instinct was to lean over and look inside a BBQ, which is a bad instinct to have. This weekend I practiced – carefully – lighting my BBQ manually. I was glad I pulled it off without burning anything off.
  2. My week-long “vaca” in July is actually a driving trip with my parents and children across the state of Michigan to visit relatives. If I could take heavy medication before getting in the car, I would, but I won’t because I will be driving. Pray for me. I may not deserve it, but I’ll need it.
  3. Although I have some semblance of a casual wardrobe that fits, I have yet to try on my bathing suit. I am in complete denial, still trying to become a VS swimsuit model through osmosis. I have a sinking feeling my suit is not going to cover all the areas I need it to, but I can’t bring myself to pull it out of the drawer to find out.
  4. My legs are still whiter than my teeth. I tried using that moisturizing body lotion with a touch of sunless tanning tint in it – you know, the kind that’s supposed to give you a subtle, can’t-screw-up glow to take the edge off of pasty white skin? Well, I managed to screw it up. I looked down the other day and saw these little patches of tan against my otherwise white, pasty skin. WTF? I swear I rubbed in the lotion evenly. I threw out the container. White is in this year.
  5. Even with my spider veins treated and tan legs (naturally or through lotion), nothing will hide the fact I have not been to the gym in over a month. Eegads. I can only hope some other pool hoppers are more out of shape than I am.
  6. Yesterday the right lens of my stylish and expensive Maui Jim prescription sunglasses chipped for no apparent reason. One hour they’re fine; the next not, unless I missed T-Rex gnawing on them when I wasn’t looking. Good news: new lenses are still under warranty. Bad news: Mr. Jim only does work on lenses with the special rose colored tint I had to have in, like, Maui. Therefore, I’m without sunglasses, squinting into the sun, for the next 2-3 weeks. At least I won’t be able to see my white, flabby thighs.

How about you? Are you ready for summer?

(I promise this will be my last prelude to summer lame post.)


7 thoughts on “How Prepared are You?

  1. Ways I’m not ready for summer:
    1. Have not planted tomatoes.
    2. Have not bought plants for planters on front porch.
    3. Haven’t trimmed forsythia, nor hedges, not any other plant life anywhere. Will be languishing in shade in about three weeks.
    4. Have not tried on the bathing suit I bought and didn’t wear last summer. Nor the matching skirt. (Matronly? Yeah. What the hell.)

    Ways that I am ready for summer:
    1. Bought new (cheap) sunglasses. Have owned them for four days, and still haven’t lost them.
    2. Have tested one recipe to bring to events this year: a nifty little tapanade that I can make in 5 minutes in the food processor and that requires only a few ingredients plus a baguette. Bonus: I can snack on the leftovers. Mmm.
    3. Have decided that prosecco (slightly fizzy white Italian wine) is my main thing-to-bring to all events — and it goes with the tapanade. Double woo.
    4. Have bought three tomato plants, which are sitting — very bored — in my garage. Remembered to water them yesterday. Need to plant ASAP.
    5. Replaced crumbling back steps with tiny back deck last year, and furnished with two chairs and a table.
    6. Have resigned self to a life of mushroom-colored skin.

  2. Things To Do Before I Can Enjoy Summer:

    1. Buy 75 flats of marigolds to get rid of those hungry deer. (I know they’re beautiful, but they’re wearing paths through my crown vetch and eating my hastas to tiny stubs.)

    2. Clean sunglasses.

    Fun post, Susan! Enjoy this beautiful day!

  3. curt says:

    for your sunglasses dilemma — when I finally converted to contact lenses a few months ago, I noticed that I needed regular sunglasses, as I only had prescription sunglasses. so, I went to the eckerd across the way and grabbed the first pair I saw — $10. wasn’t it zztop who said “go and get yourself some cheap sunglasses”? they could act as a stop-gap measure until your mauis come back.

  4. sarah says:

    Come out to Oregon, Susan! Bring the kids (or not!)! It’s always fun to “do something different”.

    how am i ready for summer? i’ll tell you how… by waiting 9 months in the clouds and rain and cold. let me tell YOU, i am READY for summer. 🙂

    bring that sunshine on, baby! actually, it’s been a lovely summery week. all green. all warm. all sunny. there’s been a skip in my step. it’s de-lovely!

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