I should be writing something a little more inspired or thought-provoking tonight, but I’ve been sidetracked with the end of school, end of soccer, end of May and, therefore, the beginning of summer. I’m a Virgo and a preparations kind of person by nature, although I’ve become more laid back in the last few years. (Yes, I’m serious. Please stop laughing.) In the business world I sometimes use charts to organize my thoughts. If I could figure out how to do a side-by- side comparison here I would, but it’s probably best I can’t. It would sidetrack me even more. So without further ado: a read on how well Susan and her family are prepared for summer.
Ways I am Prepared for Summer
- Planted flowers on Sunday and have kept them alive for 3 days.
- Cleaned deck, patio furniture and BBQ over the weekend.
- Planned week-long vacation in July.
- Purchased a few casual clothing items that fit. Similarly, narrowed down list of clothing items in catalogs I still need to buy.
- Used teeth whitener to enhance the effects of my future tan.
- Had spider veins treated.
- Hired someone to fix a shingle barely hanging onto the roof of the bay window, which is almost 2 stories up, over the garage and asphalt driveway. This doesn’t relate to summer, except that I’ve put this task off since last summer. Last week I finally called someone to fix it. Today I came home and – voila! – it was done. At times I would contemplate straddling my daughter’s bedroom window so I could reach down and nail it back into place. Good news: I decided that my DIY plan would not end well and hired someone instead. Bad news: I actually thought I might be able to do it myself.
- Located sunscreen only 2 years past the expiration date in the basement.
- Signed kids up for swimming lessons, bought them bathing suits and goggles.
Ways I am Not Prepared
- My BBQ ignition switch is not working for some reason, which means I will have to manually light the BBQ. The last time I had to do that I was in my early 20’s. The Ex (before he became a Husband) and I were at my parents, who weren’t home at the time, and their BBQ wasn’t working. Long story short, I had the gas cranked up for several seconds and I couldn’t get the match lit because it was windy. Then I couldn’t tell whether the BBQ had lit with the match. Without thinking I leaned over and promptly felt my bangs being singed off by a fireball leaping for the sky. Good news: I was not hurt, my singed hair could be restyled so it didn’t show, and we enjoyed our grilled steaks that evening. Bad news: I realized my instinct was to lean over and look inside a BBQ, which is a bad instinct to have. This weekend I practiced – carefully – lighting my BBQ manually. I was glad I pulled it off without burning anything off.
- My week-long “vaca” in July is actually a driving trip with my parents and children across the state of Michigan to visit relatives. If I could take heavy medication before getting in the car, I would, but I won’t because I will be driving. Pray for me. I may not deserve it, but I’ll need it.
- Although I have some semblance of a casual wardrobe that fits, I have yet to try on my bathing suit. I am in complete denial, still trying to become a VS swimsuit model through osmosis. I have a sinking feeling my suit is not going to cover all the areas I need it to, but I can’t bring myself to pull it out of the drawer to find out.
- My legs are still whiter than my teeth. I tried using that moisturizing body lotion with a touch of sunless tanning tint in it – you know, the kind that’s supposed to give you a subtle, can’t-screw-up glow to take the edge off of pasty white skin? Well, I managed to screw it up. I looked down the other day and saw these little patches of tan against my otherwise white, pasty skin. WTF? I swear I rubbed in the lotion evenly. I threw out the container. White is in this year.
- Even with my spider veins treated and tan legs (naturally or through lotion), nothing will hide the fact I have not been to the gym in over a month. Eegads. I can only hope some other pool hoppers are more out of shape than I am.
- Yesterday the right lens of my stylish and expensive Maui Jim prescription sunglasses chipped for no apparent reason. One hour they’re fine; the next not, unless I missed T-Rex gnawing on them when I wasn’t looking. Good news: new lenses are still under warranty. Bad news: Mr. Jim only does work on lenses with the special rose colored tint I had to have in, like, Maui. Therefore, I’m without sunglasses, squinting into the sun, for the next 2-3 weeks. At least I won’t be able to see my white, flabby thighs.
How about you? Are you ready for summer?
(I promise this will be my last prelude to summer lame post.)